The Onion Is Giving Away $8.3 Trillion In NFTs - The Onion

The Onion Is Giving Away $8.3 Trillion In NFTs – The Onion

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The Onion is happily conserving the whole globe’s economic situation by handing out $8.3 trillion in NFTs. Obtain these jpegs while you can, since these one-of-kind cryptographic possessions are one of the most beneficial electronic things ever before understood.

Bound Man (NOT SEXUAL)

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This unusual NFT is a masterpiece. It is NOT a SEX THING.

Caution Tape

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Caution: You’re mosting likely to be dirty having an odor abundant!

E

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This E alone has actually been valued by an evaluator at greater than $2.7 trillion.

Patata

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You are presently standing at the nexus of modern technology and also art.

Sam Bankman-Fried

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That’s. We made him an NFT. He’s in the Bahamas. What’s he mosting likely to do regarding it?

Mother Ape

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Celebrities like Snoop Dogg and also Ashton Kutcher have actually all acquired customized variants on Mother Ape.

Man Eating Soup

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Go in advance, you fucking loner fanatic. Take this image of the soup guy. Take it. Take it currently.

The Mona Lisa

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I suggest, it’s in the general public domain name, so why not?

Leaf Ball

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If you intend to mindful the most up to date Gen-Z fads, you should not lose out on acquiring this fallen leave round NFT and also exciting every teenager you recognize!

999 FUTURA

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This NFT made use of to come from our sweetheart. We wished she may return for it eventually, however it’s been 10 months. God, we can not take a look at it any longer, it harms. Please, simply take it. Take it!

Barge

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You might carry 7,000 to 8,000 electronic king crabs on this, very easy, and also possibly increase the worth.

Love

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This is the one NFT that can never ever be acquired. The one NFT you need to locate within on your own to ensure that you can offer it to others as well as obtain it in return. $7,000,000,000

Pre-Juice

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Not worth a whole lot now, however in a years or two you’ll have the ability to pay him in for $999

Lieutenant Dubstep

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Check out this valuable photo of famous DJ, celebration marketer, as well as self-described underarm fetishist Lieutenant Dubstep.

Murder Train

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There is an awesome on this NFT. That? The heiress? The teacher? The ticket-taker? Or maybe also the conductor himself …

Alarm Clock

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Wake up, it’s time to acquire an exotic island, since this customized NFT deserves a trendy $50 billion.

Roy M. Cohn NFT

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The renowned district attorney that aided Joseph McCarthy in his prosecution of supposed communists as well as was a closeted gay male is currently offered in NFT type.

Ragamuffins 3.0

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Freshly tousled as well as produced with love.

Water Jackpot

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$ 7.8 million for this streamlined, advanced work of art.

The Man Who Lives In The Walls

The Man Who Lives In The Walls

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You recognize him! You like him! He resides in the wall surfaces and also groans during the night!

Stolen NFT

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Fuck, where is it? That took it? We paid like $400,000 for this! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Gun

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You really did not hear it from us, however this NFT might or might not have the identification number damaged off, so somebody might utilize it to eliminate various other NFTs without it being mapped back to them.

Mama Meat-A-Ball

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Sculpted out of 100% pixel-fed electronic beef.

Your Son

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Ever because your child Colton has actually been digitized and also caught within this NFT, his worth has actually increased.

Mysterious Object

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No one understands what this incredible box is, which is why the NFT recording its rarified visage deserves $50,000

E-Gorgeous

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Only in the computer system is such charm feasible.

Mr. Prickles

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Feel complimentary to download this straight to your estate.

Plume

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Listen, every trustworthy NFT collection agency is mosting likely to intend to stick this up their Digi-Ass.

Estranged Father

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He might have abandoned you when you were young, and now you can have him back in NFT kind.

Pre-Piss

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Look at all this piss-to-be. Right stuff real enthusiasts desire for.

Blurred Genitals

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We assure that behind the obscured impact these genital NFTs are distinct, distinctive, as well as NSFW, you’re simply mosting likely to need to trust us.

The Face Of God

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Cast down your eyes! Do not consider this NFT unless you are tidy of all transgressions or your spirit will certainly be shed!

Horse That Was Shot By Rowan Atkinson

Horse That Was Shot By Rowan Atkinson

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For just $80,000, you can have this super-rare photo of a steed that was fired as well as eliminated by Mr. Bean himself!

Laaaadiessssss!

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Finally, an NFT simply for the girls!

The Sneezer

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Worth $3. Look, they’re not all mosting likely to be aces.

The Letter R

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This NFT will certainly provide you 1/26 th possession of the alphabet, or roughly 3.8%.

Trash

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Actually, can you toss this NFT out for us? Many thanks!

Magic Sarah

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FREE FREE!

Welcome To The Bored Apple Yacht Club

Welcome To The Bored Apple Yacht Club

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There’s never ever been a much better time to begin downloading and install pure earnings.

CryptoNonna

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Do not comfort her. It just decreases the value of the NFT.